In 2019, Working on Unfu*king Yourself…

My recent focus in life has been on health issues and now that I’ve dealt with two of my biggest issues (CPAP machine for sleep apnea and the Mirena for the pain from adenomyosis), one would think that my life would magically fall in place and I would no longer be struggling with all the negativity in my head, right? Wrong! One would expect that I would now have headspace to do all the things I had not been keeping up, that I would now be at 100% and productive, happy, and satisfied. Right? RIGHT!? Nope. Weirdly, I’m actually more … Continue reading In 2019, Working on Unfu*king Yourself…

The I in Team

‘There’s no I in team’ is an oft quoted idiom, but it’s time to turn that on it’s head. You cannot really be a part of a highly functioning team until you deal with the I in the ‘A’ hole and make sure that you’re not bringing your s*** to the table. Actually, you cannot truly be your best anything until you deal with the I and the impact that I has on every interaction. At the core of every interaction is the I. And the I can be broken down into: Behaviour Intention Narrative Guess what? One can only … Continue reading The I in Team

The Chinese Restaurant Approach to Teamwork

The best teams I’ve ever worked on had a few things in common: Mistakes and flaws are acknowledged, forgiven, and compensated for, Expertise and strengths are respected and relied on, Everyone more than pulls their weight, because those who do not, do not survive for long. I like to call this the ‘Chinese Restaurant Approach’ to teamwork. (My other concept for this is Unleashing Your Mutant Powers, but that’s for another blog post.) I first espoused the virtues of the management of Chinese restaurants when I found myself getting increasingly annoyed with Western restaurants’ staff ignoring my requests for water … Continue reading The Chinese Restaurant Approach to Teamwork

Two Steps Forward…

Today I received a nasty email from a self proclaimed b****. I’ve often heard her proudly describe how she nastily put down some idiot who obviously was not competent. ‘I know, I’m such a b****’ she would scoff with a condescending grin. When I would stand up for those she put down, she would only roll her eyes, re-emphasizing how useless other people were. The last time she sent something like this, I wrote her a short note (taking off all the people she had CC’d) and apologized for perhaps asking the question in a way that made her misconstrue … Continue reading Two Steps Forward…

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

How’s this for the ultimate lettings of go? Instead of stressing out when the boys got crazy coughs, we made the difficult decision not to spend Thanksgiving weekend with grandma. While we did not wish to leave her alone on this important family holiday weekend, we really did not want to pass on crazy coughs that could knock her off her feet. So a month later, she brings the turkey to us and we have our Thanksgiving weekend here, in Toronto, during Halloween week… 🧙‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧛‍♀️🧝‍♀️ So there. Take that 2018 Flu! Just cuz you kept making us take turns getting … Continue reading Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Aargh, Homework!

Somehow whenever I ask them if they have homework and it’s still light out, the answer is ‘no mommy’ and yet somehow 2 minutes before bed, someone panics about homework that is due tomorrow. I don’t get it! I have to balance between ensuring that I firmly show my disapproval with ensuring my patience in actually working with them to get it done. Then I have to balance between letting then try and fail versus eagerly telling them how to do it. Finally I have to balance the encouragement of them actually doing good work with the fact I’m as … Continue reading Aargh, Homework!

Raging at Kids is a Signal of Need for Self Care!

For the first few years of my kids’ lives, I thought that yelling at them was my way of disciplining and teaching them. But over time, I came to notice that 1) I wasn’t consistent in what I yelled at, 2) I had some specific triggers, and 3) while some things might have made a little sense to yell about, other issues were way too small to be mad at. Lastly, the fear and pain in their eyes were wrong. I hurt and scared them! As their mother, the one person who loves them most in the entire world, the … Continue reading Raging at Kids is a Signal of Need for Self Care!