Not So Secret “Guilty Pleasure” Self Care Activity, Bachelor in Paradise!


When all your educated and intelligent friends roll their eyes at producer manufactured drama on ‘reality shows’ and tell you that the lowest of low is Bachelor in Paradise, you kinda sorta do not mention that you started watching it a couple of seasons ago AND that you really find it funny that Jared and Ashley finally did actually get together.

When you’ve managed to get through all your life without watching Big Brother, Survivor, American Idol, Keeping up with the Kardashians, Real World, Jersey Shore, Project Runway, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette… oh heck, there sure are a lot of them… you don’t think that the one that is going to bring you down is the cheesy, the nutty, the most dramatic rose ceremony yet… Bachelor in Paradise.

When you can’t do water cooler talk about this show… and you can’t really gossip about it with your husband and kids… and… well… really… when you have to cringe when admitting to your sister that you can’t talk right now because you are watching a one-on-one date and the chemistry is starting to get interesting…


I know, right?

Within one episode, I went from not knowing any of the cast members to feeling like I could totally tell you who was there for the right reasons and who was playing everyone else.  And it’s not that easy, because you can feeeeel the manipulation by the producers as well as the editing that create the narrative that they want you to see.  Like Chris is not a straight up guy, Colton’s a really nice but confused kid, Jordon’s not all there, David’s just rude, Joe’s solid but a bit boring, John’s trying not to be a nerd cuz he can be a playa, Kenny and Kevin are solid guys there for the right reasons… I was about to say that I’m so embarrassed to reveal that I’m so invested in them.  But I’m not.  Sorry, not sorry.  I don’t care that this is brain candy.  I don’t care that it’s not classy classical music.  And I really, really don’t care that I’m ‘not supposed to’ waste my time watching this trashy show.

So I’m going to ‘come out’ now and tell you why I’m watching Bachelor in Paradise:

  1. It’s an incredible microcosm of the real world.  It’s weirdly a lot like work (sorry colleagues!) and at the end of the day, isn’t everyone just trying to find love in all the wrong places? It de-stresses me when I see that life is chaotic even in Paradise.
  2. I love when people find love.  It’s so gratifying to see some of the cast members develop genuine friendships and love through this really, really strange journey. Some of them have to go through a bit of drama to get there, but they get there!
  3. @bibi_julz She quietly, solidly and wisely said a whole bunch of things that helped other people.  Maybe the producers edited the footage to make her look good, but she really did some nice things that didn’t particularly help her personally.
  4. I appreciate my husband.  He’s not perfect, oh no he’s not.  But we never played games, he’s never made me feel bad about myself, and he’s a good, thoughtful, funny man who loves me.  Maybe that’s why he’s not giving me a hard time for this!
  5. Self care.  Yup, I went there.  Life is short, so no, I don’t like wasting time.  But the time I spend watching this is time thinking about people and stories and love and human behaviour and aw man, my life is pretty good.  It makes me feel good.

So to all the haters out there… don’t knock it!  No judging, no shaming!  We each take our own journeys and we each need what we need to grow, develop, learn, and improve.  Maybe I’ll outgrow my BiP attachment one of these days (after that last rose ceremony and after I see Colton propose to Tia), but for now, it’s part of my ‘healthy living’ routine and my ‘recovery from mental breakdown’ remedy.  I’m not ashamed (okay, maybe just a little) and I’m going to own it.

Love and peace to you all!


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