What Is (Self) Love?

What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more

❤️ Practicing self love today.

It means doing things and saying things that do not hurt myself. It means finding skillful ways to problem solve without the inner critic passing judgment on every little situation that doesn’t quite measure up to comparison, expectation or perfection.

It means going through my messy house and seeing all the reasons why I love it rather than all the ways I can call myself lazy. As soon as I think of my house as a place I have lived in and loved dearly for many years, my motivation for organizing and cleaning becomes clearer. Otherwise, the chore of ‘should clean all this up’ feels like an overwhelming never ending yoke around my neck.

It means appreciating my body for what it does everyday instead of punishing it for not being as perfect as a model’s in a magazine advertisement. It means lovingly investing in things that strengthen my mind, body and soul.

It means staying in the moment with my emotions, even when I am triggered or blind with fury. It means wondering why I want to fly into a rage over something that seems benign. It means stopping to acknowledge that I’m feeling something huge and that it’s okay that I’m feeling it. It means not rushing to poo poo my reaction, but rather comforting myself so that I can process it constructively and with love.

❤️ Today I’m practicing self love.

It means not berating myself for a whole week of not doing my good habits. It means not succumbing to the voice in my head that tells me: ‘That’s it! You’re sliding back into the old you and you’re about to gain back the 15 lbs you’ve lost. You have failed again, at yet another attempt to get healthy, no surprise!’ It means saying: ‘I love you! I had a little break to rest, and now it’s time to get back to these great habits that have brought me health and joy! I love how these habits make me feel!’

It means reminding myself that the rest of my life starts this moment, right here, right now. And that past performance is not an indication of future prospective. That I can choose to live a happier, healthier life, one little decision at a time, one moment at a time.

It means that no one can make me feel bad about myself. I give no one the power to say or do anything that brings my self doubt, self hatred, self criticism to the centre of my consciousness. I remember that everyone is so focused on themselves that whatever they say or do is a reflection of them, not me, not my shortcomings or flaws. They are dealing with their own lives, goals and challenges. Just as I am.

It means, to quote Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place, ‘Pobody’s Nerfect!’

❤️ Self love is going to be a part of everything I do today.

Will you join me?


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